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Trip Report IMOP 3: Poker Learnings of Vegas for Make Benefit Glorious State of Iowa part 1 Date: 03/22/08 Player: Santa Claus For Rooms: Bally's,Caesars Palace,Flamingo,Imperial Palace,Paris,Planet Hollywood,Sahara,Treasure Island (TI),Venetian, Summary: Middle aged guys let loose again Content: Warning: Looooonnnngggg read. Don't operate heavy machinery while reading. (note to mods - formatting/spacing was changed when cutting and pasting) Ironman of Poker 3: Poker Learnings of Vegas for Make Benefit Glorious State of Iowa The night before the 3rd IMOP, we had all been reduced to kids on Christmas Eve – no one could sleep, no work could be done – we should have just taken the whole week off. There were two rookies along for this year’s trip and they managed to survive, although just barely. Let’s look at this year’s field of competitors: Name: Grange – IMOP ’07 Champ and walking fashion faux pa Superpower: Jedi-mind trick ability to get callers on his overbets with aces and cocktail waitresses to call Santa “Fat Bastard” every time they asked him if he wanted a drink. “Kryptonite”: Jedi-mind trick ability to get callers on his overbets with aces – and then they river a set. Over and over and over…oh, and drunk Englishmen Quote: “There are plenty of places to get it in bad better” Name: Dan T – IMOP ’06 Champ and Wearer of the Wet Pants Superpower: Sophisticated cognac drinking abilities, gorilla-walk style when hammered “Kryptonite”: Full glasses of water + a busboy = Danny’s wet pants Quote: “…and then he poured water on my crotch!” Name: JB – the only CFO I know who would wear shorts to Delmonico Superpower: Normally, a tournament pro who is so tight he squeaks when he walks “Kryptonite”: Flopped straights – NO GOOOOOOD!!!! Quote: “Uh, can I please stop playing 2/4 now, we’re three handed” Name: Pledge Barbie – Pledge/rookie and general luck box Superpower: Ability to get it in with the worst and come out first “Kryptonite”: Flopped sets of aces Quote: “Do you want to touch my fuzzy puppy?” Name: Pledge Bonnie – Pledge/rookie and catcher of Carona’s one case at a time… Superpower: Slapstick comedic ability “Kryptonite”: Bed sheets Quote: “I feel like dog sh!t.” Name: Santa – founder of IMOP and once again Julie the Cruise director… Superpower: Insomnia! “Kryptonite”: Inability to beat Grange at worst jacket, even after pulling out the “Member’s Only” number. Quote: “I went heidi ho with 9/8 suited and it held up!” IMOP – Event Summary (partial list of events which decide the winner of the IMOP trip) Most $ Won Overall Most $ Won Cash Poker Most $ Won Tournaments Most $ Won Sports Wagering Most $ Won Table/Pit games Conference Tournament “Super Bracket” pick ‘em Prop Betting Porn Slapper Poker Felt a player in a cash game Knock players out of tournaments (bonus if it’s another Ironman) Most cocktails Least sleep Most poker rooms played Largest pot won (cash game) Best hand Worst bad beat given/taken Worst Sport Jacket There were several other bonus point events with ways to win and lose points, including: Give someone a high five or fist bump (-) Get another Ironman to give YOU a high give or fist bump (+) Get caught yawning (-), catch someone yawning (+) Fall asleep in public (-) As always, to the victor go the spoils (which accurately describe most of the prizes): A giant Paul Jardin card watch with case A third grade basketball trophy with “Ironman of Poker 07” taped to it (and 08 now scribbled in) $100 cash A year’s worth of email taunting privileges “Flavor of IMOP Love” – Wednesday 6:30PM We arrive at the airport in dreary Cedar Rapids, IA more than ready to roll. Grange was already in Vegas grinding away at Caesars as the rest of us waited like cattle to board the cram packed Allegiant flight. I knew it was a good sign when they called all rows through 36 and Dan T and JB had seats in row 37. As it turns out, they did have a row 37 – it was the one with the window seat that didn’t have a window and right next to the engine. We had to scream at Dan the rest of the trip because he lost his hearing on the flight out. Somehow, Pledge Barbie managed to lose $60 to Pledge Bonnie playing In Between the Sheets on the flight out there, but as a non-sanctioned event, that game didn’t count in the standings. Ironically, the “sheets” would get even with Pledge Bonnie later… We land at McCarran and our limo driver was waiting. Pledge Bonnie was able to hook us up with none other than Big Rick from “Flavor of Love”!!! That dude is AWESOME. The best laugh ever. He guides us over to our bag claim area and we agree to another game of “Baggage Claim Roulette” where the first bag out got paid by the other four guys (I won this game at the end of the trip last year). Apparently I own this game because after 10 excruciating minutes, out popped my bag! Winner, winner chicken dinner! Pledge Barbie graciously paid me by crumpling up his money and throwing it at my feet. We arrive at the Venetian, check in, get a hold of Grange and agree to meet at O’Sheas for our opening ceremonies. Pledge Bonnie is out of his mind for a drink and Pledge Barbie smokes about 12 cigarettes on our 15 minute walk when we arrive. This year’s game was $5 in jacks-or-better video poker for five minutes. After the five minutes, the last place person (who busted first) and the second place finisher have to buy a round for the others. Grange is out first and JB managed to take second and they decide on jalapeño hot bloody marys. Everyone then submits their basketball picks, their sealed envelopes containing prop bets on the various events (such as who will cash the most, will Santa get in a physical confrontation, etc) and we draw for our signature hands. The signature hand game involves everyone in drawing a card from one of two piles. One pile has a 2,3,4 and the other has 6,7,8. The two cards you draw become your “signature hand” and you get Ironman points for each pot you win holding AND TABLING these cards. This was a fun event last year so we decided to do it again and it would prove both interesting and profitable at the tables once others started seeing what we were up to. More on that later. We head down to Planet Hollywood, grab dinner and play cash games while we wait for the 2AM tournament to start up. During dinner, Grange makes the sucker bet of a lifetime to Pledge Bonnie. Namely, he bets Pledge Bonnie $20 that he can’t go the entire trip without having the same drink twice. Pledge Bonnie gladly accepts, then less than two hours later angrily pays Grange his money when he finishes his second consecutive Heineken. Drinks are flowing and bluffs are flying early. Dan winds up chopping for first place in the tourney and we consider this a very good omen. JB busts out first and true to tradition, has to sit and grind 2/4 limit until the last Ironman is out. He gets special recognition because he played 3 handed for half an hour until he came over and begged me to let him quit (which I did). His counterparts (Dan, Pledge Bonnie and Pledge Barbie) all owe him as they woosed out when they crashed out of the other tourneys. Stay tuned for part 2... |
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