You might be a nit if.....

[TI Poker]

Grange since you suggest it, I think this should definitely be in your forum!

So, everyone go ahead and post how you would complete the statemet...

You might be a nit if....

[TI Poker]

(These are my favorites - I could list more but why take all the fun)

You bring change to the table to tip with.

You wear the same shirt everyday until it is so filthy and worn out that you have to buy a new one, which you then wear every day.

Your pants pockets, shirt pockets, jacket pockets, and everywhere possible is full of bottles of water as you leave the poker room.

[TI Poker]

(I have to include this one, since it is something that can only happen in a computerized room.)

You have more lobby time than play time when you log out and want to check your hours.

[jjmaximum]

you are drinking bottled water from somewhere other than the room you are playing in.

you are wearing a fanny pack.

[AlaskaGal]

You feel the need to constantly berate people because they aren't playing the promo right.

[Jugweed]

1) You sit down and immediately demand the table be "squared up" when it isn't noticeably unsquare in the least (it might not even be unsquare at all).

2) You berate somebody for not "slow-playing" or "trapping" with a big flopped hand in a 2/4 or 3/6 limit game. Yeah, he/she probably expected a caller for $2-3 when 6 players saw the flop.

[Grange95]

You open raise to $100+ in a 1/2 NL game just to "protect" your AA or KK.

Your poker attire is comprised of comped shirts and hats from poker rooms.

You intentionally choose to play in a poker room during its "Aces cracked" promotion hours because you want a shot at the jackpot money, but you still get angry, throw your cards, and complain for more than one orbit when your aces, in fact, get cracked.

You ask the dealer to break your 50-cent piece so you can tip with a quarter.

You correct the Mandalay Bay dealers if they omit or misstate any rules when relaying the house rules to new players.

You can estimate every badbeat jackpot in Vegas to within $500, and can estimate every progressive high hand jackpot in your "regular" poker room to within $50.

Your name is Fred and you play at Prairie Meadows Casino in Des Moines, Iowa.

[HLV Poker Guy]

Ahhh.. where to start...

How about: You would rather wait on the list to sit in a "full" game than start a 6-handed game because you don't like playing short-handed.

You have yourself clocked off a table just so it will update your credits and allow you to check the curent total. And you do it multiple times per session.

You ask for a rake reduction the nanosecond that a wisp of air passes between the chair and the 7th players' posterior.

You get up on your big blind, but buy the button on the next hand so you won't have to face the dreaded "button straddle". (Of course, this is usually repaid by the next button straddling your post).

The entire table can describe to you your latest colonoscopy results because you've told the story to every player at the table - three times.

You regularly buy-in for the minimum, and when you get felted, ask for a short-buy.

You can (and do) tell other players which place has the largest comped hot wings - without being asked.

(Wow...I'm just scratching the surface...)

[bowlingfool]

The entire table can describe to you your latest colonoscopy results because you've told the story to every player at the table - three times.

wow!! really bad visual there!!

continuing with the OP:

ya win 3 hands in a row - lose the next hand - fling cards at dealer - immediately ask for a new set-up. (in that order)

I actually witnessed this happen one night with an angry female player. I was the one that beat her after she had dragged 3 pots in a row. I flopped top 2, she had bottom 2. I bet it all the way to river with her calling me. When I showed my hand, she got pissed off, pounded the table, flung her cards at the dealer and immediately demanded a new set-up. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing right in her face.

[minton]

your hat shirt and jacket are all from different casinos.

your order extra sugars with your coffee and extra crackers with your soup so you can take the extras home.

You have violated the cookie tray at the IP, or you know the exact minute they put the tray out.

The bottle of water you just finished drinking is from home, the one you are about to open is from a different casino, and you just asked the waitress for 2 more bottles (hey you're gonna tip her a whole $0.50)

you won't be dealt into a hand until the minute the aces cracked promo starts, and then you rack up the second the promotion ends so you can make it to the next place to get the most of their offer.

you log more hours away from the table then you do at the table.

You play only your blinds and your button, possibly the hand after that because you can't risk playing out of position and losing a few chips.

Your fanny pack is full of sugar packets, crackers, creamers, and anything else you could mooch off the waitress.

You groan when someone tips anything more than a dollar (i swear the nits about killed me when I tipped a redbird at Bills after a big pot)

If you have 15 mins left a time required promo, and you are UTG, you request a new set-up so you don't have to post 2 additional blinds.

You have more player cards in your fanny pack than a deck of cards has cards.

[axb001]

you no longer play 2-4 limit at the Monte Carlo since they introduced a small blind

[stever88ca]

You educate players who call pre flop raises with 84 suited.

You don't raise with AK because "it's a drawing hand".

Your glasses were current when Fonzie was the coolest guy on TV.

[Ian]

The entire table can describe to you your latest colonoscopy results because you've told the story to every player at the table - three times.

I've written about this same guy on AVP, and I'm afraid that if he ever finds the site he'll try to chop us into little pieces.

I'LL NEVER PLAY AT HARRAH'S AGAIN!

[meekamouse]

Maybe Im the nit for thinking this is nitty,but here it is:

When a player breaks down the poor play of the previously played hand and describes why its so " negative EV"......

[HLV Poker Guy]

The entire table can describe to you your latest colonoscopy results because you've told the story to every player at the table - three times.

I've written about this same guy on AVP, and I'm afraid that if he ever finds the site he'll try to chop us into little pieces.

I'LL NEVER PLAY AT HARRAH'S AGAIN!

Nearly peed myself. Thanks Ian.

[TheJacob]

You think raising AQ is an aggressive move.

You instantly tell a player who "sucks out" on you every hand you have raised for past two weeks and sadly those 7 hands are truly the only hands you have raised.

You flat the river with the nuts(in hold em) to prevent paying extra rake.

and here is #1:
You actually believe Phil Hellmuth is the "greatest poker player".

[spitball]

you stiff the dealer after felting another player who happened to tip the dealer as they were leaving with their last chip, which they'd used to protect their hand, rather than toss in the pot, because you feel that chip should be yours.

[mr_railbird]

you tip with quarters to dealers and/or waitresses. (Seen a guy with a sandwich baggy full of quarters at Atlantic City once.)

[spitball]

you have never;

straddled a blind
played while intoxicated
posted anywhere other than the cut-off

and you proudly proclaim each of these to be so

[social casualty]

if you fold your option in the BB.