You might be a nit if.....

[TheJacob]

You think raising AQ is an aggressive move.

You instantly tell a player who "sucks out" on you every hand you have raised for past two weeks and sadly those 7 hands are truly the only hands you have raised.

You flat the river with the nuts(in hold em) to prevent paying extra rake.

and here is #1:
You actually believe Phil Hellmuth is the "greatest poker player".

[spitball]

you stiff the dealer after felting another player who happened to tip the dealer as they were leaving with their last chip, which they'd used to protect their hand, rather than toss in the pot, because you feel that chip should be yours.

[mr_railbird]

you tip with quarters to dealers and/or waitresses. (Seen a guy with a sandwich baggy full of quarters at Atlantic City once.)

[spitball]

you have never;

straddled a blind
played while intoxicated
posted anywhere other than the cut-off

and you proudly proclaim each of these to be so

[social casualty]

if you fold your option in the BB.

[spitball]

you log into a poker chat-site
and critique your fellow poster's
spelling, grammar, or style

[duckslaw]

you log into a poker chat-site
and critique your fellow poster's
spelling, grammar, or style

I think you meant posters'.

.....ahh, dammit.

[HLV Poker Guy]

...you borrow $2 from an active player so you can buy-in for the minimum at 1/2NL...

[spitball]

you smugly exclaim " i flopped it."

[ChefTom15]

When a bad beat jackpot hits you pull out a piece of paper with the payout percentages for the winner, loser, and table share writen on it.

Tom

[fatb]

go to rack up, only to find out you are $1 short of $200 and ask the guy beside u for a $1 to make your racks even..

i have seen this done and the guy gave him $1